If not you, who will?

Last night I had the privilege to meet and hear the heart of Andrew and Avril, missionaries to Belarus. They run a program that works to get children out of orphanages and into foster homes. They have an amazing program that includes the mental/physical health of the children and the families welcoming them into their homes. They also tangibly support these families and put great emphasis on making sure foster parents and children alike are treated with dignity.
They showed us a video where one of the foster mom's was interviewed. She was speaking about how she felt like God spoke to her about taking children into her home. She told God she didn't want to, she'd been in the orphanages and seen those children.. she knew their reputation on the street and didn't want that in her home. God very clearly spoke to her "If not you, who will?"

"If not you, who will?"

That line's been repeating over and over in my head since that moment. It reminds me a lot of one of my favorite scriptures. Isaiah 6v8 "Whom will I send? Who will go for me?"

I long to live me life being the one that says "Here am I. Send me!"

It's rarely easy to answer the call God has for us. It usually requires much from us and it's easy to look at what we're losing or what we're walking away from. What we should be focused on is what God wants to use us for and see it as a privilege that He trusts us enough to use us.

My challenge to myself, and to you, is to be ready in situations big and small to say "Here am I. Send me!"

I've been thinking a lot lately about the book of Joshua.
We have cell group(esque) meetings once a week, once a month there's an all girl one and an all male one. The first one of the year Sharon (my pastor's wife) had us all share a scripture that's been on our hearts. I shared from Joshua 'Be Strong and Courageous' (it's mentioned several times in chapter 1v3-9) and this past week I was asked to expound on my feelings about this. As I really read it I noticed for the first time that God gives us an outline. He tells to obey, not to deviate from the path and to study His Word. He then goes on to say if we do those things we will succeed in all we do.
It's so easy! So what makes it so hard?? I don't have an answer for that yet.. but I am making this my year to learn what it truly means to 'Be Strong and Courageous.' That includes following those three steps. I know making a commitment like that will bring a lot trials, but I am excited to see what God does in me and in my life as I learn to be strong and courageous!

Cha..cha..cha...cha...changes...

So much has changed in the 5 years since I have lived here. Truly, most of the changes are good. Instead of constantly hearing helicopters flying overhead looking for 'trouble' (riots) the skies are mostly quiet. Rather than tanks and armored vehicles patrolling the streets it's normal police cars. The paramilitaries have mostly disbanded and turned in their arms. Northern Ireland has been granted some level of political power. All of this is wonderful and I am sometimes still surprised at how much has changed in a few short years!
However, what hasn't changed is the hearts of the people. I met some Jr High aged boys last night and one of the first questions out of their mouth was "Are you Protestant or Catholic?" After that they wanted to know if America had both or only one. Even the leadership of the church will sometimes make comments like "You don't want to live there.. that's a Catholic area" or "Don't walk that way.. it's a Catholic area." And they're the ones who love God!
I am so thankful to be here and be a part of all of this. While this city still has a long way to go, it is changing and for the better. I know that God's hand is the one behind it and I know where He moves nothing is impossible!

It'll be a week tomorrow since I left Ponca. It's weird how in some ways it seems like it's been forever and it some ways it seems like I just left. I love it here. I've been very blessed that my relationships are all still natural. It's kind of cool to be here a bit older and with a bit more understanding.
I am in charge of developing and implementing an internship program. There's an intern here already that I need to start working with... it's quite daunting! I know that God's got it under control and He can write a better internship program than I can.
Things are going well and I am adjusting fairly quickly.
Here's a few of my first observations:
It's cold! Everywhere!
It's very hilly and I'm expected to walk myself UP those hills!
I drink far less coke here and much more hot tea.
They drive on the opposite side of the road.. which means I have to look the other way first to avoid getting run over!
Aaaaand... I'm walking to work in the cold... that means I need to get up with enough time to blow dry my hair before I leave the house!!

There have been plenty of spiritual things happening as well and I've had several blog ideas running through my head.. but when I started typing this is what happened! I'll be more spiritual next time. I promise!

Opening Presents

Months ago I was having a down day and Jesse sent me a text that said "Do you remember when Doug used to talk about putting presents out for Seth and watching him try and find them? God has already laid everything out. Now comes the time when He finally gets to help you go around and discover it all."
The day he sent that it made me cry but I saved it in my phone and read it for encouragement from time to time. Since that day I've had many ups and downs. Times when I wondered how (and somedays if) it would ever work out and of course days when I knew it would. As I write this I have 3 days left at work, I have my visa, my plane ticket and my car is sold! God is truly amazing!!! He has come through for me in ways I never would have expected! Not only has He done the things I knew needed done; He's held my hand through an incredible spiritual journey. I know Him in new and exciting ways and I know I'll take these with me for the rest of my life!
I am still behind in my fund raising, however I am completely positive that God's got that worked out too! Jan 10th I'll have 10minutes on Sunday morning to talk about my heart and passions. I will have an opportunity to ask for support and I believe wholeheartedly that it will come in that day.

I am so excited to keep opening presents and see what God has in store for me!!

Week 6 of 4

Grrrrr......



That's about it.

Choices

Sometimes I feel like I don't have any. Today I am realizing that that is simply an excuse to not make the right ones. I could sit here and dwell on the fact that Jonny should've heard back on the visa last week and wonder what that means and when he'll hear... but I can also think about how this time last week I had raised less than $100 in monthly support and I now have 1/4 of what I need!! Yes.. I still have 3/4 to go.. but it is quite encouraging to be closer! It means things ARE happening, I AM getting closer!
So God, I am sorry I so often choose to focus on the negative. I will try to get better.

For today and for the days to come I choose to focus on what God's doing rather than on what I think He isn't.